I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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