i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
