four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
then he tried to convert me to islam
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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