so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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