Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
