If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
where does the pee come out of this thing
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
