Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
