so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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