I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize