you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
