I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I can't put those talents on a resume
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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