Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Randomize
