just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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