my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
