it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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