so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Congratulations! We have a period
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
