im drinking this country out of the recession.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
