made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
