Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
