His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
