i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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