I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
