i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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