You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
