I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
