apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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