we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
