i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
