She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
