I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
