tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
