Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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