Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
there's paper in my vomit.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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