WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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