hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
