what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
