Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
