I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize