So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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