I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
