I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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