Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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