Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
