...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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