i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
