Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
