First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize