Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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