I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Randomize
