Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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