Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
