she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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