why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
