this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
