just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
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Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
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Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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