You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
