i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
