is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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