five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
