My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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