Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.