There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation