Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.