TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
