Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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