apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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