I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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